Blonde: What does IDK stand for?

Brunette: I don't know

Blonde: Why doesn't anyone know!

 

A blonde decided to paint a room. When her husband got home, he asked, "Why are you wearing an Alaskan and a winter coat?" She replied, "The can said for best results apply 2 coats. 

A nose, a vibrator and a firework walk into a bar.

The nose orders 3 pints.

The barman says, "I ain't serving you lot, you're off your face, your mates buzzin and he looks like he's about to go off on one! 

A blonde redneck guy finds a lamp. He rubs it and a Genie emerges. The Genie tells him he will be granted three wishes. The Guy thinks for a moment and says "First, give me a bottomless mug of beer". A mug of beer appears in his hand. He sips it once, then again and the mug is magically refilled. The Guy is thrilled and continues to drink. The mug never empties. Then the Genie says "And what about your other two wishes?" The guy thinks for a moment and says "Give me two more just like this one!"

All this feminist bullshit about men having all the power... power comes from the socket, not the plug...!

A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.

Guy: Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine.

Girl: Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine. 

A kid walks up to his mom and asks, "Mom, can I go bungee jumping?" The mom replies, " No, you were born from broken rubber and I don't want you to go out the same way!" 

I'm about 3 years into my relationship now and I've started to have erection difficulties. My girlfriend and I have different ideas to what the problem is. She bought me some Viagra and I bought her a treadmill.