Charlie marries a virgin.

On their wedding night, he's on fire and wants some dirty fun so he gets naked, jumps into bed and immediately starts groping her.

"Charles, I expect you to be as mannerly in bed as you are at the dinner table."

So, Charlie folds his hands on his lap and says, "Is this better?"

"Much better!" She replies with a smile.

"Ok, then," he says, "now will you pass the pussy."

Why Trick-or-Treating is Better than sex:

- You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

- If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.

- The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

- You don't have to keep in touch with the person who gives you some.

- 40 years from now, you'll still enjoy candy.

- If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.

- It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning with pleasure.

- You can do the whole neighbourhood.

A couple have just had sex.

The woman says, "If I got pregnant, what would we call the baby?"

The man takes off his condom, ties a knot in it, and flushes it down the toilet.

"Well, " he says.

"If he can get out of that, we'll call him Houdini."