What happens when they closed the GP apartment.

He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forwards and backwards, forwards and backwards. Back and forth, back and forth, in and out, in and out. She could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her breasts and trickling down the small of her back, she was so wet. She moaned softly at first then began to groan louder. Finally, she screamed loudly "Okay, okay!! You smug bastard! You park the fucking car!!".

There was a 80-year-old man that married a 21 year-old woman.

A year later the woman had a baby and the doctor came out and told the old man that he was the father of a 9lb 8oz baby boy.

The old man replied "This old motor is still a' running!"

Next year his wife had another baby and the doctor came out and told the man that he was the father of a 8lb 5oz baby girl.

The old man replied "This old motor is still a' running!"

The next year his wife was back in the hospital yet again, having their third child and the doctor came out and told the old man that he was the father of a 10lb 9oz baby boy.

The old man replied again "This old motor is still a' running!''

And the doctor said "Yeah... but you better get your oil changed because this one is black"

I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business. This fat chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said "Hi sweetie... how about you take me back to your place and we'll have some fun?" I said "Sorry, I can't. I haven't got any lubricant". She said breathlessly "You won't need any lubricant with me sweetie". I said "Yes I will. I've only got standard size door frames".