mikeusa

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A: A whine cellar.

Penis Enlargement
I sent away for a penis enlarger. They sent me back a magnifying glass.

Q: Why did the blonde take a ladder into the bar?
A: She heard drinks were on the house.

A man comes home from work to find his wife sliding down the banister.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
She answers, "Warming up your dinner."

Bang Bang!
Q: Why did the mirror have holes in it?
A: A moron kept trying to shoot himself.

Circuit City Sex
When it comes to sex, I like to refer to my wife as Circuit City because she has no interest until January of next year.

On Young Women Marrying Old Men
Now, if they were just honest about it and were like, 'Look, this guy's going to die in, like, seven or eight minutes; I'm going to get a bag of cash and a Lexus,' I wouldn't have a problem with it.

: Not Into Older Women
I'd be like, 'Lady, get the hell away from me! You're old, you're gross -- I'm sorry. I'm sure you were unbelievable back in the 20s, when you were doing the Charleston, making beer in your bathtub, but you're at least four decades past humpable. I'm sorry.'

Beyond Impotent
A woman tells her doctor, "My husband is 300% impotent.
The doctor asks her, "I'm not quite sure what you mean. Could you elaborate?"
She replies, "Well, the first part you can imagine, but he also burned his tongue and broke his finger."

Banana Peel
An idiot walking down the street spots a banana peel and sighs.
"Here we go again!

well I was watching  the ladies play topless European football that was Different but fun to watch there  bouncing tits
thank you ladies 

In my personal honest opinion - these guys (don't think any female members get so involved) give RLCF a bad reputation and indicates how serious they are about stalking a tenant to the point of watching them inside RLC and away from the cams. PATHETIC and DISGUSTING CREEPS that should be removed from this site (RLCF should protect themselves as best they can for any possible liabilities that might happen because of these members' actions)

Bad Food
A doctor tells a group of patients, "The material we put into our stomachs is terrible. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High-fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" An old man raises his hand and says, "Wedding cake."
 

I was reading the chat room around the after noon and same of them was talking about having the girls vk Account and other accounts that they have of the past girls that was in old b1 and b2 and my Question is why would have there accounts any ways is that Borderline stalking? ....  if you can't  Figure out why they have there account block may be it's because they  don't want to be stalk or creep out....there  I Spoke my mind

On Young Women Marrying Old Men
Now, if they were just honest about it and were like, 'Look, this guy's going to die in, like, seven or eight minutes; I'm going to get a bag of cash and a Lexus,' I wouldn't have a problem with it.

I was reading the chat room around the after noon and same of them was talking about having the girls vk Account and other accounts that they have of the past girls that was in old b1 and b2 and my Question is why would have there accounts any ways is that Borderline stalking? ....  if you can't  Figure out why they have there account block may be it's because they  don't want to be stalk or creep out....there  I Spoke my mind

I was reading the chat room around the after noon and same of them was talking about having the girls vk Account and other accounts that they have of the past girls that was in old b1 and b2 and my Question is why would have there accounts any ways is that Borderline stalking? ....  if you can't  Figure out why they have there account block may be it's because they  don't want to be stalk or creep out....there  I Spoke my mind

Why is it so hard to get into the chat room?
1. Is it because there are some who thinks they own the site and chat room?
2. Is it because some have there own rules that they want you to go by or else?
3. Is it because some don't want you saying nothing negative about one or two of girls "that they my be in love with and they have in they mind they might just meet one day?" and they some how took them time to fine out their hole back ground "and they think they know them personally even what they think and do and what kind of family they came from?
4. Is it because some are groups that if your not apart of they just won't talk to you?
5. is it because you have to lose your thoughts and opinion when you sign in "Ha Ha Ha"...that's funny.
When I first join this site "being a retired vet and love to talk to people anyway" I couldn't wait to sign on and talk to other members daily, talk about the apartments, the people, weather it was men or women, members would tell a few jokes and have fun. Now signing in is like taking a bar exam, your your dammed if you say the wrong thing "what is the wrong thing? You might lose a good friend, most of the time you don't even know who to trust, after going threw the questions 1 threw 5.  Its to many chiefs in the chat room now and not enough real members.
What is the purpose of having a chat room if you can't express yourself? 
 
 

Twins having a dildo is like an ashtray on a motorbike. Pointless 

Bad Food
A doctor tells a group of patients, "The material we put into our stomachs is terrible. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High-fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" An old man raises his hand and says, "Wedding cake."
 

Ex-Girlfriend's Parakeet
My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet...oh my god, that fucking thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool.

Sex Ed
At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach the topic of sex education and asked her students if they'd ever seen anything that was related to sex education on TV.
Mary raised her hand and said she had seen a movie about women having babies. “Great,” said the teacher, “that's very important.”
Then Judy raised her hand and told the teacher she had seen a TV show about people getting married. “Well, that has to do with it too,” said the teacher.
Then Johnny raised his hand and said he had seen a western where some Indians came riding over the hill and John Wayne shot them all. The teacher said, “Well, Johnny, that really doesn't have anything to do with sex education.”
“Yes it does,” said Johnny, ” it taught those Indians not to fuck with John Wayne.”

Balls & Old Ladies
Q: What has 75 balls and screws old ladies?
A: Bingo.

Baking Blondes
Two blondes walk into a tanning salon. The receptionist asks, "Are you two sisters?"
They chuckled and reply, " No, we aren't even Catholic