leon34

Telltale Stripper Signs
How is she not going to know? I'm going to roll in at five o'clock in the morning, smelling like exotic plants, no money in my pockets, glitter all over me. The second I walk through the door, she's going to go, 'You went to a strip club.' What the hell am I going to say? 'No, no, no, I was out tracking unicorns.'

Couple Blowout
While we were eating, there was a couple on the other side of the restaurant having a fight. It was a huge fight; it was a blowout. They were screaming at each other. When the woman finally got up and stormed out, I noticed that the man didn't go after her, so I did.

Support Inter-Racial Dating It's America, not a load of laundry -- no need to separate the white and the colors.

Do Something You Enjoy
Somebody told me the best way to meet women is to do something you enjoy -- right away, you have something in common. So, I've spent the past year smoking dope and watching television.
 

Angelic Love
A man tells his friend, "My wife is an angel."
His friend replies, "Lucky you. Mine's still alive."

Little Johnny... The Mouse
Little Johnny walks into his dad's bedroom and sees him sliding on a condom. His father tries to hide it by bending over, as if to look under the bed.

Little Johnny asks curiously, "What are you doing, Dad?"

His father quickly replies, "I thought I saw a mouse go underneath the bed."

Little Johnny replies, "What are you gonna do -- screw him?"

good bye renata thank you for the Entertainment in b1 and b2 

good bye tim and Ilona thank you for being here have fun back at home 

at least angie had mole sex 

welcome dominica to b2 

sonya got her pussy slam by her boyfriend last weekend now glasha got some too by her boyfriend ..... angie your next 

Did You Score?
My friends, they only want to know one thing: 'Did you score? Did you score? Did you score? Did you score?' Hey, guess what -- news flash, guys -- a date's not a sporting event. A date's an opportunity to be in the presence of another individual and celebrate the unique-osity of that person. And no -- I didn't fucking score!

Art Gallery Nudes
A couple at an art gallery see a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn't like it and moves on, but the huband keeps looking.
She asks, "What are you waiting for?"
He replies, "Autumn."

Little Johnny... Thanksgiving Greetings
One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting. Later, he asked what "bitch" and "bastard" mean. They explained that they mean "lady" and "gentleman."

The next day, he overheard his parents having sex. He later asked what "penis" and "vagina" mean. His parents explained that they refer to "hats" and "coats."

At supper the next day, Little Johnny's mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled, "Oh fuck!" Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means "cut."

A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, "Hello bitches and bastards! Hurry up with your penises and vaginas -- we can't wait to fuck the turkey!"

All the Gays on an Island
My brother hates gay people -- hates us. 'We should take all you gays and stick you on an island.' 'Well they have, Frank. We call it Manhattan.'

Little Johnny... The Birds and the Bees
Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.

Confused, his father asks what's wrong.

"Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."

: We'll Be Together
I'm coming back. And when I get back, then we'll be together forever -- forever and ever and ever -- until death. Even beyond -- beyond death: two souls enmesh as one soul! One soul floating for all of eternity in the great abyss, the aftermath, that which remains unknown to all who dwell in the trappings of mortal flesh, until the final passing!' Anyway, that's what I left on her answering machine. She hasn't called back yet.

At the Door
Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog -- at least he'll quiet down after you let him in.

Senator Cornyn on Same-Sex Marriage
I'm not making this up -- he goes 'Now if your neighbor marries a box turtle, that doesn't affect your everyday life. But that doesn't mean it's right.' I think it's pretty safe to assume that, at one point or another, Senator John Cornyn has thought about making love to a box turtle. I'm sorry, but that's not the first animal you jump to when you're writing that analogy.

Little Johnny... Know It All
Little Johnny asks his mother her age.

She replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."

Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs.

Again his mother replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."

The boy then asks, "Why did Daddy leave you?"

To this, the mother says, "You shouldn't ask that," and sends him to his room.

On the way, Johnny trips over his mother's purse. When he picks it up, her driver's license falls out.

Johnny runs back into the room. "I know all about you now. You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and Daddy left you because you got an 'F' in sex!"

lana having fun 
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kitty real boobs I'm going to miss now she has fake ones 
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welcome sonya

welcome  glasha