Shadow V Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 am. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, "How am I supposed to know? we're 200 miles inland!" and hangs up. Her husband rolls over and asks, "Sweetheart, who was that?" I don't know, some dumb bitch asking if the coast is clear." Scotsman84, Dave, Shaggy and 9 others 5 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow V Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 An 80 year old man tells his wife, "I'm going to the doctor to get me some of those new Viagra pills." His wife gets her coat on and says, I'm going to the doctor too. If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm getting a tetanus shot." Max 2017, Scotsman84, Dave and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StnCld316 Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 Create an account to see this content! Scotsman84, Danny, King Hamlet and 8 others 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 15 hours ago, StnCld316 said: Create an account to see this content! Mmmmmm yummmmy Sketch, StnCld316, Shadow V and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaggy Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 A neighbour comes to Mr Myler and says, "Your dog bit my mother in law!" Mr Myler is horrified and apologizes, adding sadly, "You'll probably be wanting financial recompense, won't you?" "Absolutely not!" smiles the neighbour, "I'd love to buy the dog!" Zander, Rudi, delta10 and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow V Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 The honeymoon couple left the wedding reception and hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills. The driver wasn't too sure how to get there, so he told the couple he would need directions when they got closer to their destination. Meanwhile, the lovers couldn't wait to get busy, so they got down to business in the back seat. During the couple's moment of passion, the cabdriver noticed a fork in the road, and said, "I take the next turn, right?" "Screw NO, get your own woman," said the groom, "this one's all mine!" Sketch, Max 2017, StnCld316 and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow V Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 You're riding a horse full speed, there's a giraffe beside you, and you're being chase by a lion. What do you do? Get your drunk ass off a carousel!. StnCld316 and Scotsman84 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow V Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Lets play gynecologist. Dave, Max 2017, Zander and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pleasant Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 A guy is talking to his friend about the fact that he can't get into sex with his wife anymore. The friend has an unusual suggestion. "When they try to get a Bull interested in mating, they get it to sniff the privates of the cow so the scent will get it aroused, and bingo!" "Should i try that?" he says. The friend tell him to do it. So he goes home, gets into bed and puts his hand around the front of his wife, has a good feel in her pants and wipes above his lips. Suddenly there's lift off! He excitedly wakes he up and says "Hey, look at me!" His wife frowns and says "Why wake me up to show me you have a nose bleed?" Zander, Max 2017, Chucky and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Create an account to see this content! Shaggy, Chucky, Danny and 8 others 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Create an account to see this content! King Hamlet, StnCld316, Dave and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Create an account to see this content! StnCld316, Shaggy, Shadow V and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Create an account to see this content! Rudi, StnCld316, Dave and 5 others 6 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Create an account to see this content! Max 2017, Chucky, Rudi and 9 others 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 LOL. Create an account to see this content! Danny, Zander, Dave and 7 others 6 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts