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need a laugh when rlc is dead #1


skippy

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A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 am.

The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, "How am I supposed to know? we're 200 miles inland!" and hangs up.

Her husband rolls over and asks, "Sweetheart, who was that?"

I don't know, some dumb bitch asking if the coast is clear."

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The honeymoon couple left the wedding reception and hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills.  The driver wasn't  too sure how to get there, so he told the couple he would need directions when they got closer to their destination.

Meanwhile, the lovers couldn't wait to get busy, so they got down to business in the back seat. During the couple's moment of passion, the cabdriver noticed a fork in the road, and said, "I take the next turn, right?"

"Screw NO, get your own woman," said the groom, "this one's all mine!"

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A guy is talking to his friend about the fact that he can't get into sex with his wife anymore. The friend has an unusual suggestion.

"When they try to get a Bull interested in mating, they get it to sniff the privates of the cow so the scent will get it aroused, and bingo!"

"Should i try that?" he says. The friend tell him to do it.

So he goes home, gets into bed and puts his hand around the front of his wife, has a good feel in her pants and wipes above his lips. Suddenly there's lift off!

He excitedly wakes he up and says "Hey, look at me!"

His wife frowns and says "Why wake me up to show me you have a nose bleed?"

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