need a laugh when rlc is dead #1

[toolmaker123]

Who says building a border wall won’t work? 

The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago 

and they still don’t have any Mexicans. 

[toolmaker123]

Vampire is driving home from a long business trip in Northern Arizona, when he sees an elderly Navajo man walking on the side of the road. 

 

As the trip was a long and quiet one, he stopped the car and asked the Navajo if he would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the old man got into the car. 

Resuming the journey, Vampire tried - in vain - to make a bit of small talk with the old Navajo. The old man just sat silently, looking intently at everything he saw, studying every little detail, until he noticed a brown paper bag on the seat next to Mike. 

 

"What in bag?" asked the old man. 

 

Vampire looked down at the brown bag and said, "Oh, it's a nice bottle of wine; I got it for my wife." 

 

The Navajo was silent for another moment or two. Then, speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, he said,

 

                                                                 "Good trade!â€

[toolmaker123]

Texl01 sent his clothing out to a new Chinese laundry
 

but when it came back there were still stains on his lacy panties.

 

So the following week he enclosed a note saying, "Please use more soap on my panties."

 

The next day when he picked up his next load of laundry there was a note on it saying,

 

                                       "Please use more paper on ass." 

[toolmaker123]

 

My stomach just made a really weird noise. 

I’m sending in a secret mission pizza to check it out.

[Rob1]

Static electricity is an imbalance of electric charges within or on the surface of a material. [/size]The charge remains until it is able to move away by means of an electric current or electrical discharge. [/size]For modeling the effect of static discharge on sensitive electronic devices, a human being is represented as a capacitor of 100 microfarads, charged to a voltage of 4,000 to 35,000 volts. When touching an object this energy is discharged in less than a microsecond: [/size]Are you still having a little trouble understanding this? If so, see the photo below. [/size] [/size]I hope this helps! [/size]

You sure that's not a dick under her dress that is some big cameltoe lol

[Scotsman84]

My dog use to chase people on a bike alot. it got so bad , finally i had to take his bike away 

[Scotsman84]

A husband and his wife sit at the table having dinner. The woman drops abit of tomato sauce on her white top. " Och, i look like a pig!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                The man nods, " And you dropped tomato sauce on your top"!

[Scotsman84]

My boss told me yesterday, "don't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want". But when i turned up in my Ghostbusters gear, the bastdard fired me. 

[skippy]

My dog use to chase people on a bike alot. it got so bad , finally i had to take his bike away 

i had a dog and i called it black smith..

 

because every time i kicked it it made a bolt for the door..

[skippy]

i had a dog with no legs. and i called it woodbine..

 

i used to take it for a drag every night

[Tophat]

3 guys in a bar talking about their kids. First 1 says I have 5 boys enough tor a basketball team. Second guy says I have 9 boys enough for a baseball team team. All was quiet with the third guy. When pressured by the other 2 he confessed. I have 18 girls enough for a golf course

[Tophat]

1 last 1 before I go. I can remember my grandfathers last words. ( Quit shaking the ladder you little fuck )

[Scotsman84]

little Johnny asks the teacher, " Mrs Roberts, can i be punished for something i haven't done?"  Mrs Roberts is shocked, "of course not, johnny that would be unfair!".  Little Johnny is relieved, " OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, i haven't done my homework." 

[Scotsman84]

A blonde girl says to her friend, " i think Bill is cheating on me. I'm no longer even sure the kids are mine. " 

[Scotsman84]

An Englishman, an irishman and a scotsman set up a business as furniture removal men. On their first job when the householder saw the Englishman and Scotsman struggling to carry a wardrobe upstairs, she asked them, ' Where is the Irishman?'

 

'Oh, he's in the wardrobe stopping the wire coat-hangers from rattling.'