toolmaker123 Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 Who says building a border wall won’t work? The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still don’t have any Mexicans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toolmaker123 Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 Vampire is driving home from a long business trip in Northern Arizona, when he sees an elderly Navajo man walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, he stopped the car and asked the Navajo if he would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the old man got into the car. Resuming the journey, Vampire tried - in vain - to make a bit of small talk with the old Navajo. The old man just sat silently, looking intently at everything he saw, studying every little detail, until he noticed a brown paper bag on the seat next to Mike. "What in bag?" asked the old man. Vampire looked down at the brown bag and said, "Oh, it's a nice bottle of wine; I got it for my wife." The Navajo was silent for another moment or two. Then, speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, he said, "Good trade!†Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toolmaker123 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Texl01 sent his clothing out to a new Chinese laundry but when it came back there were still stains on his lacy panties. So the following week he enclosed a note saying, "Please use more soap on my panties." The next day when he picked up his next load of laundry there was a note on it saying, "Please use more paper on ass." Scotsman84 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toolmaker123 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 My stomach just made a really weird noise. I’m sending in a secret mission pizza to check it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob1 Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Static electricity is an imbalance of electric charges within or on the surface of a material. [/size]The charge remains until it is able to move away by means of an electric current or electrical discharge. [/size]For modeling the effect of static discharge on sensitive electronic devices, a human being is represented as a capacitor of 100 microfarads, charged to a voltage of 4,000 to 35,000 volts. When touching an object this energy is discharged in less than a microsecond: [/size]Are you still having a little trouble understanding this? If so, see the photo below. [/size] [/size]I hope this helps! [/size] You sure that's not a dick under her dress that is some big cameltoe lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 My dog use to chase people on a bike alot. it got so bad , finally i had to take his bike away Lisa and skippy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 A husband and his wife sit at the table having dinner. The woman drops abit of tomato sauce on her white top. " Och, i look like a pig! The man nods, " And you dropped tomato sauce on your top"! Max 2017 and skippy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 My boss told me yesterday, "don't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want". But when i turned up in my Ghostbusters gear, the bastdard fired me. Lisa, toolmaker123, skippy and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippy Posted July 19, 2016 Author Share Posted July 19, 2016 My dog use to chase people on a bike alot. it got so bad , finally i had to take his bike away i had a dog and i called it black smith.. because every time i kicked it it made a bolt for the door.. Scotsman84 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippy Posted July 19, 2016 Author Share Posted July 19, 2016 i had a dog with no legs. and i called it woodbine.. i used to take it for a drag every night Scotsman84 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tophat Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 3 guys in a bar talking about their kids. First 1 says I have 5 boys enough tor a basketball team. Second guy says I have 9 boys enough for a baseball team team. All was quiet with the third guy. When pressured by the other 2 he confessed. I have 18 girls enough for a golf course Scotsman84 and skippy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tophat Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 1 last 1 before I go. I can remember my grandfathers last words. ( Quit shaking the ladder you little fuck ) Scotsman84 and skippy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 little Johnny asks the teacher, " Mrs Roberts, can i be punished for something i haven't done?" Mrs Roberts is shocked, "of course not, johnny that would be unfair!". Little Johnny is relieved, " OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, i haven't done my homework." skippy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 A blonde girl says to her friend, " i think Bill is cheating on me. I'm no longer even sure the kids are mine. " Chucky, skippy and Lisa 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 An Englishman, an irishman and a scotsman set up a business as furniture removal men. On their first job when the householder saw the Englishman and Scotsman struggling to carry a wardrobe upstairs, she asked them, ' Where is the Irishman?' 'Oh, he's in the wardrobe stopping the wire coat-hangers from rattling.' toolmaker123, Max 2017, Lisa and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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