Rhodie Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 A gay guy, Yashay goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says, ' Yashay , I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS.' Yashay is devastated.. 'Doc, what can I do? Eat 3 hot chilli sausage from Nagiah's, 1 head of Cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno Peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box Of All Bran, And top it off with a litre of prune juice..' Yashay asks, ' Will that cure me, Doc?' Doc says, No,but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ARSE is for! Sketch, delta10, Johnny and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhodie Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhodie Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the Night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll Not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'.. Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll Be on my way then'. Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off.. He Falls flat on his face. 'Shoite' he says and pulls himself up by the Stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls Flat on his face, 'Shoite, Shoite !' He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to The door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door And shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes A deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto The sidewalk and falls flat on his face. 'Bi'Jesus.... I'm fockin' focked,' he says. He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, Hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside.. He Takes a look up the stairs and says 'No fockin' way'. He crawls up the Stairs to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to the bed'. He takes A step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says 'Fock it' and Falls into bed. The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of Coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last Night ?' Paddy says, 'I did, Jess. I was fockin' pissed. But how'd you know?' 'Mick phoned . . . You left your wheelchair at the pub.' Sketch, Johnny, Scotsman84 and 6 others 7 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 Create an account to see this content! Johnny, Sketch, RUBBERMAN and 4 others 5 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 Create an account to see this content! Bandit, One Eyed Willie, Scorpio 22 and 4 others 5 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 Create an account to see this content! Sketch, Johnny, Scorpio 22 and 4 others 5 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted November 14, 2018 Share Posted November 14, 2018 Create an account to see this content! Bandit, Scorpio 22, Sketch and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted November 14, 2018 Share Posted November 14, 2018 Create an account to see this content! Danny, Bandit, Scorpio 22 and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted November 14, 2018 Share Posted November 14, 2018 Create an account to see this content! Bandit, Danny, Johnny and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted November 14, 2018 Share Posted November 14, 2018 Create an account to see this content! Johnny, Scorpio 22, Sketch and 4 others 5 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted November 14, 2018 Share Posted November 14, 2018 Create an account to see this content! One Eyed Willie, Bandit, DIRTYHARRY and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted November 14, 2018 Share Posted November 14, 2018 Create an account to see this content! Johnny, Scorpio 22, Danny and 4 others 5 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhySoSerious? Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 At a celebrity party, Stevie Wonder meets Tiger Woods and mentions that he too is an excellent golfer. Tiger is sceptical that the blind musician can play golf well, but he is too polite to say anything. "When I tee off," the singer explains, "I have a guy call to me from the green. My sharp sense of hearing lets me aim." Tiger is impressed, and Stevie suggests they play a round. When Tiger agrees, Stevie asks, "How about if we play for $10,000 a hole?" Tiger insists he couldn't possibly play him for money because of his sight handicap. But Stevie argues and badgers Tiger until Tiger finally relents. Stevie says, "You pick the place and I will pick the time. Tiger says, "Fine. Pebble Beach" Stevie replies, "Midnight!" Scotsman84, Rhodie, Sketch and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhodie Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 For his birthday Little Matt asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this House is £680 000.00 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way We can afford it." The next day the father saw Little Matt heading out the front door With a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?" Little Matt told him, "I was walking past your room last night and I Heard you tell mum you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you To wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a £680 000.00 mortgage and no...F**king Bike!" Bandit, WhySoSerious?, Sketch and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhodie Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 'If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?' Bandit, WhySoSerious?, delta10 and 2 others 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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