Zander

Be a good option to think about and nice change as well. 

Three robbers break into a bank, but when they open the safe, they find only boxes. One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt. "We didn't find any money, but we got something to eat," he tells his partners. They eat their fill and leave.
The next morning's newspaper headline reads, "World's Largest Sperm Bank Robbed."

Q: What is the difference between "accident and "tragedy"?
A: Suppose you are with the family by the pool. You suddenly push your
mother-in-law into the pool so it's an accident. If she could swim and gets
out, in that case, it's a tragedy!

"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son." - Animal House

One Thing Never Changes.. Lol

Lucky these days.

Five Important Qualities.
1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps a towel around herself and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, " I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After few seconds, Bob hands her the $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, " Who was that?"
" It was Bob the next-door neighbour," she replies.
" Great," the husband says, " did he say anything about the $800 he owes me? "
 
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Sharon showing her skills.

Why you should never walk and text. LOL

A guy is talking to his friend about the fact that he can't get into sex with his wife anymore. The friend has an unusual suggestion.
"When they try to get a Bull interested in mating, they get it to sniff the privates of the cow so the scent will get it aroused, and bingo!"
"Should i try that?" he says. The friend tell him to do it.
So he goes home, gets into bed and puts his hand around the front of his wife, has a good feel in her pants and wipes above his lips. Suddenly there's lift off!
He excitedly wakes he up and says "Hey, look at me!"
His wife frowns and says "Why wake me up to show me you have a nose bleed?"

Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Lets play gynecologist.

Little Johnny comes home from Sunday School with a black eye.
His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?"
"But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she hit me!" "Johnny," the father said. "You don't do those kind of things to women."
Sure enough, the very next Sunday Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!"
"But Dad," Johnny said, "It wasn't my fault. There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back in!"