Scotsman84

Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: " I didn't had no fun for months." Then she faces the class and says, " Ok class, how should this be corrected? " Little Johnny says, " I think you should get yourself a better man! " Little Johnny was asked, ' What would you like for your birthday? ' He said, " Tampons please. " " Tampons!? Why do you want tampons for your birthday!? " He replied, " I saw a great TV ad. With a tampon you can go swimming, biking and skiing. "

Yes. LOL Do you fuck on the first date?

Shower. Beard or No Beard?

Late one night a burglar broke into a house and while he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, " Jesus is watching you. " He looked around and saw nothing. He kept on creeping and again heard, " Jesus is watching you. " In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot inside. The burglar asked the parrot, " Was it you who said jesus is watching me? ", The parrot replied, " Yes. " Relieved the burglar asked, " What is your name? " The parrot said, " Clarence. " The burglar said, " That's a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you Clarence? " The parrot answered, " The same idiot that named the Rottweiler jesus."

I saw a teenage kid on the subway today. He had a Mowhawk hairstyle dyed yellow, green and red. He caught me staring at him and in a nasty voice asked, " What the fuck you looking at? " I replied, " Sorry, but when I was about your age I had sex with a parrot. I thought maybe you were my son. "

If you and Kelly Brook get together let me know. LOL

Johnny English.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

Hate both. Red if I had too. Lights on or Lights off?

Annie Wilkes. ( Misery ) Happy Halloween All.

Ashamed to say I don't know the difference.

No. Have your parents walked in on you having sex?

Lia or Mia?

Winter Olympics. Scotland or England?

Yes, can see my neighbours kitchen from my backdoor. Have you masturbated knowing you are being watched?

Orgy. RLC or VHTV?

Yes, and got caught. Have you ever had sex in a elevator/lift?

Yes. Have you been seen nude at home/garden?

Join RLC. Sex in the bath or Sex in the shower?

Hard-on.

Sexting. Me, Bogdan and Nelly or Me, Bogdan and Linda?

Just boxers on. Do you watch porn most days?

Had sex and masturbated in a tent. It's fucking intents. LOL Have you ever been arrested?

Teacher. Sex under the stars or Sex in a tent?

Teacher. Had at least four I would have loved to fuck after class or in the toilets. Using a toy yourself or Someone else using it?