Scotsman84

Love a good Paddle on my ass. Police or Doctor?

Cum anywhere. Fingered at a funeral or Fingered at a wedding?

Balls licked and sucked. Cum on your face or Cum on your tits?

Sorry if I interrupted Ladies.

Beer. Nipples sucked or Toes sucked?

Dan married one of a pair of identical twin girls. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce. " Ok, " The judge said, " Tell the court why you want a divorce? " " Well, your Honor, " Dan started, " Every once in a while my sister in law would come over for a visit, and because she and my wife are so identical looking, every once in a while I would end up making love to her by mistake. " " Surely there must be some difference between the two women. " the judge said. " You better believe there is a difference, your Honor. That's why I want the divorce. " he replied.

They two are better looking and more entertaining.. LOL

Slipped a few in a mates pint but never seen the outcome... LOL Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Only a young pup so 19 again. Nice and slow or Fast and reckless?

Maybe. But have the same discussions in the Chatbox might as well in the forums.. LOL

I trim the bush. Have you been with a friends mum/dad?

Answer the question then ask your own. Have you ever been caught masturbating/having sex?

Natural Born Killers.

A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation centre. Man: " What are you doing here today? Woman: " Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me £5 for it. Man: " Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm. But they pay me £25. " The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. Several months later, the same man and woman meet again at the donation centre. Man: " Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again? " Woman: ( shaking her head with mouth closed ) " Unh unh. "

Calling them boring is being nice.

Stepan has more chance of getting a job than Renata making a difference at B2. LOL

Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the school to tell her that Little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was no problem and she had seen worse than that. After his first day at his new school his father called the teacher to see how it went. She said, " I think I broke his gambling ". The father asked how and she said, " He bet me £5.00 that I had a mole on my butt, so I pulled down my pants and won his money. " " DAMN! " said the father. " What's wrong? ", the teacher asked. Little Johnny's father said, " This morning he bet me £100.00 he could see his teacher's butt before the day was over! "

The teacher was asking the end of the day question that she asks every Friday. If the student got it right they would not have to come to school on Monday. Little Johnny was determined to answer correctly. So he painted two black marbles black and rolled them to the teachers feet. All of a sudden she shouted out, " Who's the comedian with the black balls? ". Johnny shouted out, " Bill Cosby, see you on Tuesday suckers! ".

" Fuck me harder big boy ".. LOL Your favourite porn?

Homemade Porn. Cheeseburger or Hot dog?

Yes. Have you given or received anilingus?

Ice cream. Watching or Being Watched?

A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, " Where is Jesus today? " Steven raises his hand and says, " He's in heaven. " Mary answers, " He's in my heart. " Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, " He's in our bathroom! " The surprised teacher asks Johnny how he knows this. " Well," Little Johnny says, " Every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells, " Jesus Christ, are you still in there?! "

Michael Jackson is walking out of the operating room after his wife gave birth to their son. Michael says, " Hey Doc how long till we can have sex?" The Doctor says, " At least wait till he is walking Michael!! "

A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as President Clinton appeared on the television. After a few sips, he looked up at the television and mumbled, " Now, there's the biggest horse's ass I've ever seen." A customer at the end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and decked him. A few minutes later, as the man was finishing his beer, Hillary Clinton appeared on the television. " She's a horse's ass too." The customer at the end of the bar stood up, walked over to him, and knocked him off his stool. " Damn it! " the man said, climbing back up to the bar. " This must be Clinton country! " " Nope," the bartender replied. " Horse country! "